Allow Them to Save Face

As the world continues to be increasingly divided by political differences, it’s crucial to remember kindness. While we often think about kindness on a large scale, there is something small but intentional that you can do that costs nothing yet may feel like a blessing from above: allow "them" to save face!

What Does "Saving Face" Mean?

“Saving face” is a term commonly used in life coaching and conflict transformation. It refers to the deliberate act of allowing someone to maintain their dignity, particularly when they face loss. This concept emphasizes the importance of respect, even when others may be disrespectful in their defeat. It calls us to learn how to win by choosing to be kind to those who have lost. In practice, it might look like acknowledging another person's perspective without ridicule or disdain, especially when their candidate, idea, or motion doesn’t win. In simpler terms, it’s about remembering not to rub it in.

How Do We See "Saving Face"?

We encounter the need to save face in various interactions—political debates, personal disagreements, and everyday conversations, especially when an idea is not accepted. Imagine a heated discussion where one person feels cornered and embarrassed. Instead of further alienating them, a gentle acknowledgment of their viewpoint can prevent humiliation and foster understanding. For instance, if a colleague shares an opinion that seems misguided, rather than dismissing them outright, we can reframe the conversation to explore the rationale behind their stance. This approach not only helps maintain harmony but also opens the door to meaningful dialogue.

The Benefits of Allowing Others to Save Face

1. Promotes Healthy Communication: By encouraging others to save face, we create an environment where open dialogue can flourish.

2. Builds Trust: Acknowledging someone’s feelings fosters trust. When individuals feel understood, they are more willing to share and engage constructively.

3. Encourages Kindness: Saving face acts as a catalyst for kindness. When we prioritize the dignity of others, we naturally cultivate a spirit of compassion and empathy.

4. Reduces Conflict: This practice can defuse potentially explosive situations, turning adversarial encounters into opportunities for collaboration and understanding.

The Cons of Saving Face

While the benefits are compelling, there are challenges. Some may argue that saving face can lead to enabling poor behavior or that it might obscure the truth. However, the key lies in balancing honesty with empathy. It is possible to stand firm in our beliefs while also extending kindness and respect to others.

A Christian Reflection on Kindness

As Christians, we are called to reflect Christ’s love and grace in our interactions. One powerful biblical story that illustrates this is found in John 8:1-11, where Jesus encounters a woman caught in adultery. The religious leaders bring her before Him, seeking to condemn her according to the law. Instead, Jesus chooses to respond with compassion, challenging those without sin to cast the first stone. At this moment (when everyone is looking at the women), pay attention to the men; verse nine tells us that one by one, they left, and Jesus said nothing else. Jesus cared for the woman indeed, but Jesus also allowed the men to save face.

When we allow others to save face, we spark kindness in our communities. It invites us to recognize that everyone is navigating their own struggles, and a little compassion can go a long way. In these challenging times, let’s commit to making our discourse kinder, beginning with those we might see as adversaries.

By choosing to allow "Them" to save face, you cultivate an atmosphere where kindness flourishes, transforming our relationships and, ultimately, our world. Let’s ignite that spark of kindness today, leading with love and understanding.